Post by robertd on Mar 29, 2007 10:33:11 GMT -4
This is taken from the CL16/Sandpiper user forum
So you want to be a Bowman? Or Bow woman ?
Maybe you're tired of being an under appreciated grinder. Or you have finally shed that extra 20 pounds and feel it's time to redeem yourself on the pointy end. Well here is a short test to get you going in the right direction and help you to see if you have what it takes to become a bowman.
First of all, to be a good bowman, you must have a high tolerance for pain under many adverse conditions. Dealing with pain and continuing to perform the duties of the bow is paramount to being successful in this position. Seeing if you have what it takes is simple, just follow these few steps.
1. To make things realistic, start a cold shower and get in. I recommend wearing your foul weather gear, but that's up to you.
2. Spin around about ten times or so, just enough to make it seem like the shower is "heeled over".
3. Now, with a medium sized frying pan, give yourself a good whack on the top of the head while yelling "MADE!"
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 every five minutes or until you black out. SEE FIG. 1
If you made it through this exercise at least five times without losing conscienceness or ending up in the emergency room, then congratulations, you are ready for the next level. If you didn't, then you'd better stay behind the mast you wimp!
OK, as soon as the swelling goes down it is time to see if you have the brains to be on the bow. The bow is a very mentally challenging position. This exercise will give you a good idea if you have what it takes.
To test your problem solving skills, go to your local toy store and buy a Rubik's Cube, you might already have one lurking around your basement from the mid '80s. Once you have found one, follow these short steps to see if you are sharp enough for the front of the boat, or if you are destined to turn a winch for the rest of your days.
1. Take your "Cube" into a completely dark room or closet, or if you are at work, a blind fold will do just fine.
2 . Have a buddy time you at solving the puzzle, and since you will experience lots of distractions on the fore deck, have your buddy smack you on the face repeatedly while you complete this task (quit whining, do you want to be a bowman or not ? ) .
If you were able to solve the puzzle in less than 3 minutes then you probably already have Dennis Connor on speed dial . Under 5 and you probably wear your harness to work under your business suit. Anything under 10 and you have what it takes but you need a little more practice . If it took you 10 minutes or more, well, lets just say there is always a future as a tactician .
Our next exercise is one of mental toughness, to see if you have the "clock weights", if you will, to persevere through the torment and ridicule that will surely come from the other crew members aboard .
This is our final test, so good luck .
1. For five days you are not allowed to speak to anyone, not your roommate, spouse, siblings, parents, kids, friends, boss, coworkers, NO ONE .
2 . You are only allowed to verbally communicate in the form of yelling and screaming. This includes phone conversations .
3 . Be sure to include as much profanity in each sentence as possible .
So for an example, if your boss asks for an over due report. Instead of saying "I will have it for you right away sir." You could say "I WILL HAVE THE #&*$@% REPORT FOR YOU AS SOON AS IT IS @*&%#@ DONE, %&#$ FACE!" Of course you can insert your own profanity where you see fit .
Once you have completed this exercise you should have a good idea of what it is like to be on the bow of a high performance racing sailboat. The faces people have given you and the obscene hand gestures you have received during this last five days are very similar to the ones you will receive in your new position on the bow. However, if you made it through this exercise and you are still married, your friends still call you or talk to you, and you still have a job, then you didn't try hard enough. You will undoubtedly fold under the pressure of this demanding position, in other words you are a wuss. Don't feel too bad though, not everyone is cut out for this life. It is lonely world up there, some sailors just can't handle the stress and separation. Just be thankful that you took this exam, think of all the pain and ridicule you have saved yourself .
If you passed all three tests, then congratulations. Once the bandages come off and you have begged your boss for your job back, the next step is to get your name on your local crew list as an "Aspiring Bowman". Be sure to mention that you have passed the "bowmansunion.com introductory self-examination for beginning bowmen". Bring along the Rubik's Cube and a blindfold to any interviews with skippers and you are sure to have a fast ride on the bow of your choice .
Good Luck
Bowman-ship 101
So you want to be a Bowman? Or Bow woman ?
Maybe you're tired of being an under appreciated grinder. Or you have finally shed that extra 20 pounds and feel it's time to redeem yourself on the pointy end. Well here is a short test to get you going in the right direction and help you to see if you have what it takes to become a bowman.
First of all, to be a good bowman, you must have a high tolerance for pain under many adverse conditions. Dealing with pain and continuing to perform the duties of the bow is paramount to being successful in this position. Seeing if you have what it takes is simple, just follow these few steps.
1. To make things realistic, start a cold shower and get in. I recommend wearing your foul weather gear, but that's up to you.
2. Spin around about ten times or so, just enough to make it seem like the shower is "heeled over".
3. Now, with a medium sized frying pan, give yourself a good whack on the top of the head while yelling "MADE!"
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 every five minutes or until you black out. SEE FIG. 1
If you made it through this exercise at least five times without losing conscienceness or ending up in the emergency room, then congratulations, you are ready for the next level. If you didn't, then you'd better stay behind the mast you wimp!
OK, as soon as the swelling goes down it is time to see if you have the brains to be on the bow. The bow is a very mentally challenging position. This exercise will give you a good idea if you have what it takes.
To test your problem solving skills, go to your local toy store and buy a Rubik's Cube, you might already have one lurking around your basement from the mid '80s. Once you have found one, follow these short steps to see if you are sharp enough for the front of the boat, or if you are destined to turn a winch for the rest of your days.
1. Take your "Cube" into a completely dark room or closet, or if you are at work, a blind fold will do just fine.
2 . Have a buddy time you at solving the puzzle, and since you will experience lots of distractions on the fore deck, have your buddy smack you on the face repeatedly while you complete this task (quit whining, do you want to be a bowman or not ? ) .
If you were able to solve the puzzle in less than 3 minutes then you probably already have Dennis Connor on speed dial . Under 5 and you probably wear your harness to work under your business suit. Anything under 10 and you have what it takes but you need a little more practice . If it took you 10 minutes or more, well, lets just say there is always a future as a tactician .
Our next exercise is one of mental toughness, to see if you have the "clock weights", if you will, to persevere through the torment and ridicule that will surely come from the other crew members aboard .
This is our final test, so good luck .
1. For five days you are not allowed to speak to anyone, not your roommate, spouse, siblings, parents, kids, friends, boss, coworkers, NO ONE .
2 . You are only allowed to verbally communicate in the form of yelling and screaming. This includes phone conversations .
3 . Be sure to include as much profanity in each sentence as possible .
So for an example, if your boss asks for an over due report. Instead of saying "I will have it for you right away sir." You could say "I WILL HAVE THE #&*$@% REPORT FOR YOU AS SOON AS IT IS @*&%#@ DONE, %&#$ FACE!" Of course you can insert your own profanity where you see fit .
Once you have completed this exercise you should have a good idea of what it is like to be on the bow of a high performance racing sailboat. The faces people have given you and the obscene hand gestures you have received during this last five days are very similar to the ones you will receive in your new position on the bow. However, if you made it through this exercise and you are still married, your friends still call you or talk to you, and you still have a job, then you didn't try hard enough. You will undoubtedly fold under the pressure of this demanding position, in other words you are a wuss. Don't feel too bad though, not everyone is cut out for this life. It is lonely world up there, some sailors just can't handle the stress and separation. Just be thankful that you took this exam, think of all the pain and ridicule you have saved yourself .
If you passed all three tests, then congratulations. Once the bandages come off and you have begged your boss for your job back, the next step is to get your name on your local crew list as an "Aspiring Bowman". Be sure to mention that you have passed the "bowmansunion.com introductory self-examination for beginning bowmen". Bring along the Rubik's Cube and a blindfold to any interviews with skippers and you are sure to have a fast ride on the bow of your choice .
Good Luck
Bowman-ship 101
